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Rants 'n' Spouts by Nighshift raiders
Mar
04
Odeur=Ambiance
Published in Miscellaneous by Sólstafir
There's a pipeline in my bathroom that you can hook up to a washing machine, but since I don't have one, it's just there in the corner connected to nothing. Every now and then during autumn and spring, a slightly funky smell can rise from that pipe. Luckily this smell doesn't occur that often, but this season I decided to buy a can of air freshener. The mistake I did was that I bought a really low-budget one, it was a gigantic can of lemon scented air freshener that costed like 1 euro.
We didn't really have any breaks during tonights raid, so after one of the wipes I had to do two things, and I had to be done fast. The mission was to pee and have a quick smoke. First I went to the bathroom and after I had washed my hands I sprayed the whole bathroom with this newly acquired lemon scented air freshener, then I ran out to the kitchen and smoked half a cigarette (without turning the kitchen fan on!) and then finally ran back to the computer and closed the door after me.
After about 15-20 minutes of raiding I had to go back to the kitchen again and get a glass of water, and that's when I was greeted by the most disgusting medley of smells. The smell of tobacco mixed with the artificial lemon scent had intergrated with eachother, making my kitchen smell like some sort of pornshop.
Now, the smell I'm trying to describe is the one you would find in a real pornstore, not one of those "erotic novelty boutiques". Is there a difference? Hell yeah!
The typical novelty sexshop is usually located in the central parts of town, and they are often owned by a fairly attractive middle-aged woman who sells whips made out of syntetic leather and cute (pink) vibrators with brand names like "The Rabbit". These stores always have at least two customers going around the store giggeling at all the different items. This is not the type of store I'm talking about!
The type of pornstore I'm talking about are always located on the outskirts of town, owned by some disgusting overweight man who always leaves the top part of his shirt unbuttoned. In here it's different, in here no one talks to eachother and customers avoid eye contact with eachother (out of shame). Here you can buy complete bondage sets made out of real leather and rubber-imitated fists - with names like "The Enforcer". And they have something else too, wank boots! Jesus Christ! I can't think of anything more depraved and more delightfully disgusting than three small rooms next to eachother, built for the sole purpose of accomodating men who need somewhere to defile themselves. Have you ever been so close that you can hear the unsynced clang of three belt buckles? It's almost like music, could be the opening to a Richard Wagner piece, "Flight of the Perves"?
You need a lot of chemicals to cover up a smell that you find in one of these shops, and that is how my kitchen smelled tonight. Damn I hope no one comes and visit me now.
We didn't really have any breaks during tonights raid, so after one of the wipes I had to do two things, and I had to be done fast. The mission was to pee and have a quick smoke. First I went to the bathroom and after I had washed my hands I sprayed the whole bathroom with this newly acquired lemon scented air freshener, then I ran out to the kitchen and smoked half a cigarette (without turning the kitchen fan on!) and then finally ran back to the computer and closed the door after me.
After about 15-20 minutes of raiding I had to go back to the kitchen again and get a glass of water, and that's when I was greeted by the most disgusting medley of smells. The smell of tobacco mixed with the artificial lemon scent had intergrated with eachother, making my kitchen smell like some sort of pornshop.
Now, the smell I'm trying to describe is the one you would find in a real pornstore, not one of those "erotic novelty boutiques". Is there a difference? Hell yeah!
The typical novelty sexshop is usually located in the central parts of town, and they are often owned by a fairly attractive middle-aged woman who sells whips made out of syntetic leather and cute (pink) vibrators with brand names like "The Rabbit". These stores always have at least two customers going around the store giggeling at all the different items. This is not the type of store I'm talking about!
The type of pornstore I'm talking about are always located on the outskirts of town, owned by some disgusting overweight man who always leaves the top part of his shirt unbuttoned. In here it's different, in here no one talks to eachother and customers avoid eye contact with eachother (out of shame). Here you can buy complete bondage sets made out of real leather and rubber-imitated fists - with names like "The Enforcer". And they have something else too, wank boots! Jesus Christ! I can't think of anything more depraved and more delightfully disgusting than three small rooms next to eachother, built for the sole purpose of accomodating men who need somewhere to defile themselves. Have you ever been so close that you can hear the unsynced clang of three belt buckles? It's almost like music, could be the opening to a Richard Wagner piece, "Flight of the Perves"?
You need a lot of chemicals to cover up a smell that you find in one of these shops, and that is how my kitchen smelled tonight. Damn I hope no one comes and visit me now.